Category Archives: proactivity

Confidence Unveiled: Physical Identity


Let’s remove some veils before we smother.

We are living in a culture of extremes that glorifies the smallest to the biggest of sizes.

We are either obsessing with appearance (WDYT) or settling with health (FOFO). And, because we’re at one extreme or the other, we usually “weigh in” with either pride or despair….

Can anyone relate?

In the event you don’t think I’m reality based, here are recent facts to substantiate:

  1.  1 in 2 deaths in the U.S. is due to lifestyle choices.
  2.  Plastic surgery apps on your phone now make it possible to cut yourself to a smaller size before posting onto social media.



We listen to the voices of culture that begin to play inside our minds creating thick, internal veils….

“I’ll never measure up.”

“What good does it do to take care of myself? I’ll die of something…”

Culture sways…Satan speaks….We hit “Play” and our Identity is Taken Away!

Whenever you compare yourself to others, you’re actually lowering your standard because you’re one of a kind…the unique combination of your physical, emotional, relational, and spiritual components that make up YOU in totality.

Let’s offer some HOPE, shall we?

What would it be like to approach each new day with the following mindset….

“What can I do today to care for my body?”

“How can I eat properly so my body and mind are nurtured well?”

“How can I work my body to keep it strong and active?”

“How can I appreciate (and even like!) the one body God gave me?” (Psalm 139)

“How can I use this body to fulfill God’s earthly mission since it’s the vessel He has given me to accomplish my daily tasks?”

A healthy balance is to take pride in your appearance without being prideful.

A healthy balance is to be proactive with your health, especially if you know your medical history.

The question ISN”T “Why Do I?”…. The question IS “Why Wouldn’t I?”

Two points to offer hope:

  1. Selectively focus on the traits you DO you like when you gaze in the mirror!
  2. Focus on what you’ve got; stop trying to look like someone you’re not!

Remove those veils of obsessing and settling and UNVEIL some confidence today.




My Unbirthday: The Gift of Celebrating My Self, Kinda

This is the day that USED to be my birthday until, the year I turned 40, I decided to change it (*more on this later).  You’re right…I got two extra weeks during my 39th year. I officially call today my “Unbirthday,” just like the lyrics from Alice in Wonderland:

The Unbirthday Song

Lyrics from “Alice in Wonderland”
Composed by Mack David

A very merry unbirthday
To me
To who?
To me
Oh, you….

Technically, an unbirthday is defined as all the other days of the year that aren’t your birthday.  Do you celebrate yourself on these other days of the year? Are you comfortable with who you are?  This is not to say that you make excuses for not making necessary changes in your life.  You should.  Period.  [I’m a life coach, remember? ;)].  Blame and status quo living are candles to blow out on your proverbial unbirthday cake….

At this point in life, I realize I am still a work in progress.  I need to learn, grow, and be teachable.  The more I learn, the more I need to learn.  The more I grow, the more I need to grow.  And the more teachable I am, the more I need to be teachable.  When I was younger, I honestly thought I had answers to almost anything. Life used to appear very “black and white” for me. How ironic. Not a very good gift if trying to connect with others…….

What have I learned over the course of many Unbirthdays and difficult times that I celebrate today?  It’s what has occurred on 364 days that haven’t been my birthdays that have been “gifts” to me.  These are my current life takeaways:

  1.  I’ve been a caregiver.
  2.  I’ve buried two parents.
  3.  I’ve learned how to destress my life.
  4.  I’ve learned how to be “transformed by the renewing of [my] mind”.
  5.  Life experiences offer many gray areas.
  6.  I’m a much better listener than I used to be.
  7.  Comparison is deadly on any level. I don’t and I can’t. It never lands me in a good emotional place.
  8.  I’ve learned to examine expectations. Are they realistic or not?
  9.   God shows me grace for the “me” I celebrate and the “me” I am growing to be.
  10.   I’m here to encourage others.
  11.  The intangibles mean so much more than the tangibles. Some things just can’t be bought.
  12.   I can’t let negative feelings drive my behaviors.
  13.   I will only grow in those areas where I am challenged, not where I am already strong.
  14.   I really can’t waste time and energy focusing on others’ issues; I have enough of my own.
  15.   I value quality relationships.
  16.   I hate superficiality.
  17.   Proactivity is key to intentional living.
  18.   I can only control and take ownership for myself.
  19.   God’s control trumps mine.
  20.   I am a steward of my own health, relationships, thoughts, and spiritual life.

This is a short list, for sure.

What have you learned on your unbirthdays that you now realize are gifts to you?  If you’re not sure, ask God what He is trying to teach you.  It’s there.  Promise. Actually, perhaps He’s trying to teach you HIS promises and presence in the midst of all the days you don’t feel like celebrating.

No matter what day it is, celebrate who you are and who you’re becoming.  And then share that gift with others.


*I have no official birth certificate.  My mother used my adoption day as my birthdate so I could begin school in VA before the October 1 deadline.  No worries, though.  My real birthday is documented on my adoption papers. 🙂